Alcohol and substance addiction

[GracieMae]

Are there any sure fire ways to avoid it? Can 1 drink make you an alcoholic? Is it a weakness? Does sheltering children from drugs/alcohol insure they won't be abusers?

[Mabel]

I do think that there are people who are prone to addictions, and that one drink or one puff or one whatever could lead them down the path to an addiction, yes. Do I think EVERYONE is like that? no. But I do believe that it can happen.
My uncle often says he wishes he never had that first drink. It struck him with ONE drink. That was that.

[Mabel]

I think this debate will really be split on whether you believe addictive behavior is learned or inherited in your makeup. If you are like me, and believe that addiction and substance abuse can be inherited in your genetic makeup, it makes sense to try and keep your child from the substances that you were so addicted to.

[GracieMae]

I think we all know Jim is a cross addicted alcoholic. He has been clean and sober over 4 months now :clap:

When I met him 10 years ago he was using hence our break up. When I suffered the biggest tragedy of my life 6 years ago Jim was there for me. He was clean and sober at that time. I believe me leaning on him combined with the accidental death of his sister almost 2 years ago (has it been that long?) contributed to his relapse. This in part is why I am so dedicated to helping him recover.

I have thrown him out several times over the last 2 years. I have been through hell and back with him.

IMO as long as alcohol/drugs are avalable there is no sure fire way to insure our children will not use it. I feel educating them to it is our best defense.

One drink won't make you an alcoholic but it can open the door to being one if you are predisposed to alcohol addiction.

It is only a weakness to those who don't wish to recover.

As I have already stated education is our best defense not sheltering them from it.

[GracieMae]

I think this debate will really be split on whether you believe addictive behavior is learned or inherited in your makeup. If you are like me, and believe that addiction and substance abuse can be inherited in your genetic makeup, it makes sense to try and keep your child from the substances that you were so addicted to.

You are exactally right Mabs.

I for one also believe it can be an inhereted trait. The fact is Jim being Native American he is more prone to addiction.

My children have definitly been educated about the evils of drugs and alcohol. My teens show no interest in either.

[Melinda-Q]

Are there any sure fire ways to avoid it? Can 1 drink make you an alcoholic? Is it a weakness? Does sheltering children from drugs/alcohol insure they won't be abusers?


There is no SURE way to avoid anything IMO. However I think education and open communication with our children is the BEST defense available.

Can 1 drink make you an alcoholic? No. You either ARE or ARE not an alcoholic. If, in fact you are, one drink can be what sets you off.

Is it a weakness? Well, addiction in itself is weakness. And an addict not in recovery is giving in to that weakness. It fails to be a weakness when the addict chooses to be in recovery.

Define sheltering? I don't think that ANYTHING insures they won't be abusers. However I think educating them to the evils of alcohol, and role modeling abstinence or EXTREMELY infrequent use, is a good place to start. They should be told all about alcohol and what it can do. My children at very young ages KNOW that alcoholic drinks exist and they KNOW they are not for children and they KNOW that they have a relative whose life is a disaster because of alcoholism. As they grow we will teach them MORE about the disease and about the fact that they are genetically predisposed.

[DiznieB]

I do not believe one drink will make a person an alcoholic. I do believe bad experiences, bad association or a bad family life can have an impact.

I do believe a parent that shelters their child to the extreme is bound to fail. If you hold a spring down too tightly, it is going to bounce all over the place when let go. Balance is a key.

In my own family, we do have a history of alcoholism. I was also very exposed to drunkeness. My father. My mother. My sister. I occassionally do drink but I have never been drunk. From my own experiences growing up and watching the stupidity of drunks and the day after hang overs, I have never had a desire to go that far. I drink for the taste or the occassion and that is that.

[DiznieB]

I think this debate will really be split on whether you believe addictive behavior is learned or inherited in your makeup. If you are like me, and believe that addiction and substance abuse can be inherited in your genetic makeup, it makes sense to try and keep your child from the substances that you were so addicted to.

I believe it can be one or the other or both. I don't believe a person ever chooses to be an addict or an alcoholic. It is something that just happens. Getting yourself clean and sober is a choice and not an easy road to take. Those who take it should be admired.

[Truffles]

My father was an extremely violent alcoholic. My mother rarely drinks but has the odd social drink (like once a year, if that). My brother doesn't drink at all because the one time he drank some beer he couldn't feel the effects and that scared him. I drink occasionally and I can take it or leave it.

I believe in genetic disposition for addicition but also in physical addiction. If taking a substance frequently enough, I think your brain will write pathways to expect that susbstance. Moderation is the key whether it is chocolate, alcohol, or drugs.

Now for the part that will probably get me flamed. I do not think of addicition as a disease. Disease has a physicality to it that addicition does not have. I think labeling addiction as a disease absolves the addict of their responsibility.

[Echo2]

I am a recovered alcoholic. I have been sober for 16 years. My experience with alcoholism and quest for answers to my alcoholism has given me a little insight into the disease.

A predilection to alcoholism can be inherited but doesn’t have to be. No one really knows if it is genetic or nature, that is we don’t know if it is in our genes or if the behavior and attitudes that advance the disease are picked up through growing up and interaction with practicing alcoholics.

There is scientific proof that the human body has a physiological change to the way it process’s alcohol when ones crosses the line between being a drinker of alcohol and being addicted to alcohol. Once the body changes the way it process’s alcohol, there is no going back. Alcohol becomes a physical addiction with cravings and emotional and physical withdrawals when the substance is removed.

Alcoholism can be driven by emotional effects and also has an emotional consequence on individuals. Alcoholics drink because they are driven by physical cravings to alter their emotional experience. Most alcoholics will tell you that they never really felt comfortable in their skin, or that they always felt that there was something everyone else knew that they didn’t. They drink to alter their internal emotional existence. To make themselves more comfortable or less stressed are phrases often used. They drink to change their consciousness because they don’t like the way they feel inside without alcohol. They will drink when times are good and when times are bad. It isn’t the outside stress that pushes them towards booze, but rather the inside stress. The emotional feelings inside themselves. Because of this it is a circular disease. The more they drink, the more trouble they cause in their life and the life of the people who love them. The more trouble they cause the worse they feel about themselves and the more they drink. Most alcoholics cover up these feelings of inferiority with brass bravado. In 12 step circles we often refer to ourselves as egomaniacs with inferiority complexes.

Though it is a disease that will be with them their entire life, they can choose to treat the disease or let it run rampant hurting themselves and everyone around them. They will never be cured but they can be in remission. Treating it involves more than getting medication or having surgury. It involves changing their life, their outlook and the way they think about the world if they want to get sober and stay sober. A disease that one has to choose to fight emotionally and physcally by making not only life style changes but psychological changes that alter how they percieve the world and respond to it.

Unfortunately less than 10% of practicing alcoholics ever manage to make the changes necesary to stay in remission.

[GracieMae]

Congratulations on 16 years Echo :clap: That is quite an accomplishment!

I agree with much of what you have said...probably most of it.

Jim and I have totally changed our lifestyle. We have different friends (who don't drink) and don't go the same places we used to. He attends 7 AA meetings a week and I attend Al-Anon. I no longer drink at all.

It was difficult to totally rearrange our lives a bit but I'll tell you, it has it's rewards :)

[Truffles]

...we often refer to ourselves as egomaniacs with inferiority complexes.
My father to a 'T.'

[GracieMae]

Now for the part that will probably get me flamed. I do not think of addicition as a disease. Disease has a physicality to it that addicition does not have. I think labeling addiction as a disease absolves the addict of their responsibility.

No flaiming here though I disagree. I believe some people are predisposed to addiction. I also believe if they choose to take the first drink knowing this they are setting themselves up for addiction. Some people should totally obstain from alcohol.

I believe that at some point it becomes a disease to alcoholics/addicts when it reaches the point they can no longer control themselves and are powerless over the addiction.

[Truffles]

I agree with what your are saying, Gracie, except the labelling of addiction as a disease. To me, a disease has a physical element to it that addiction doesn't have (ie. cancer, infection, etc).

[GracieMae]

Many people feel that way Truffles. I am torn. I don't in any way place addiction in the same catagory as cancer but I do feel it's a disease if that makes sense.

[Truffles]

I guess I see addiction as more of a "syndrome." A series of symptoms but not having any single definitive physical evidence.

[GracieMae]

Where I'm comming from is I have watched Jim struggle for 10 years. He was clean and sober for 4 years at one point (when we got married) and as soon as he gets too stressed he relapses.

He wants to get clean and stay that way. I have seen the pain he is in when he has a relaps. IMO no one chooses to live that way.

He told me he regrets ever drinking/using in the first place.

[Echo2]

Absolutly no one dreams of growing up and becoming an alcoholic.

It is considered a disease because there is a physical change in the body of the person who is addicted. The disease changes the way their body process's alcohol. No one chooses to be a drunk. That said, they do at some point choose to stay active in the disease. Once the realization has occurred that they have a problem, then it becomes a fight between them and the physical and emotional cravings.

I realize that from the outside it looks like they are just not trying because to normal people it is just a matter of not drinking. But it isn't as cut and dried as that when the dt's are raking your body and every cell is screaming for alcohol.

There are people who just never get to the point of admitting they have a problem and also people who know it but don't care.

[GracieMae]

There are people who just never get to the point of admitting they have a problem and also people who know it but don't care

Exactally!

It wasn't till last year that Jim admitted he has a problem. He always insisted he could quit at any time. He can't and he now admits that. He's had addiction issues since he was 15! He's now 45.

[GracieMae]

Also, I do believe pot is a gateway drug. Jim started with pot at age 14. By the time he was 15 he was drinking and dropping acid. Since it all began he has used more drugs than I can name. His drugs of choice were cocaine, heroine, crack and pain killers but he'd pretty much take anything anyone offered him.