The Saga of my SISTER IN LAW!!!

[DiznieB]

Skip to the paragraph "March 2002" if you are familiar with the saga of my sister in law!! If you are not familiar with it, read on!!

In 2000 my SIL cheated on her husband of nearly three years. She moved back from Indiana to Arizona with her parents. Two weeks later she took off in the night back to Indiana and had both her husband and the "lover" meet her at the airport. Both of which thought they were there to meet her alone. Husband said, choose him or me. She choose the lover. End of their married. Ex-husband has since remarried a WONDERFUL women. Before leaving she told all of us she was pregnant and even present a test strip. Once she left, we discovered the test was two negatives taped together. She was not pregnant. In September she ended up getting pregnant by the lover. She moved back to Arizona immediately.

Fast forward to October 2002. She marrys a guy none of us knew and gave us all two week notice. January 2003 her new husband was shipped off to Kuwait.

Between January and August 2003 she lived on her own with her (then) 1.5-2 year old daughter. Unknown to all of us, she was doing drugs and cheating with an ex-boyfriend from age 18 during this time.

In August 2003 she "attempted" suicide. Most of us believe it was an attention scam or she was high and crashed her car, suicide was the cover up. Her daughter was taken away and given to my MIL and FIL. During August to December 2003 the relation between SIL and her DD was off and on. Some weeks would go by and my SIL wouldn't even call. Other weeks she would visit daily.

In January my MIL insisted on a drug test. SIL refused. MIL "grounded" SIL from seeing her child for "six weeks". January I had a little party for the little girls. My husband's cousin and her little girl attended. SIL's DD sadly mistaken the cousin for her mother and would not let her out of sight and when she left, she screamed for her momma. MIL allows SIL to see her before the six weeks is up.

In March 2004 my in laws give the little girl back to SIL, who was then living with her grandmother in a very bad neighborhood. SIL and her DD move in with my in laws. One week later my SIL is kicked out.

April my SIL enters a 28 day program for another "suicide attemp".

Now, bits and peices are missing because WE have very little to NOTHING to do with his family. For obvious reasons. My in laws have only seen my girls TWICE since January. They are too preoccupied with the SIL.

A few weeks ago I drove by their home and notice my SIL's car in the driveway. We drove by again a few nights later and her car was there again. She obviously moved back in.

My FIL asked if our girls could come over this Sunday. My husband said YES as long as SIL is not there. We don't trust her and we do not want her around our children.

Well FIL just e-mailed back saying; "I not sure what we can do right now. SIL has moved back in with us....Plus......Baby's Daddy is suing for full custody of Little Girl. He wants to take Little Girl back to Indiana and live with his sister and his mother. Mom and SIL have to go to the first custody hearing on August 25th. So it was recommended that it would look better for SIL, keeping Little Girl if,she was living here at the same home with her. Anything that well help keep Little Girl here with all of us.......we'll do....So....let us know what you want to do, because we want to see the girls."

WTF!?

I don't know what to think at this point. I feel that the situation THEY ARE ALL IN is not fault but their own. In fact, I almost WISH my neice would go with her father because in all honesty, she would be better off with him and NOT them. Especially my SIL and everything she has done to this little girl. And my in laws for continueing to allow my SIL to do things to this little girl.

WTF because do our children not even matter? They have seen them twice in seven months (and they live 15 minutes away) and they cannot come over to OUR home to visit with their grandchildren? Or have SIL go to the mall for a few hours so that our girls can go to their home?

WE, the LOVING PARENTS who actually DO CARE about OUR children are suppose to allow our innocent children to go over to a home with a known crazy person, drug attack, unpredictable behavorioral person because .... why again?

Am I being unreasonable? Would you allow your children to go over there? Would you EXPECT your in laws/parents to come to your home to see your children? Or would you EXPECT your inlaws/parents to make the SIL leave the house for a while?

God, I hate my SIL for all the crap she continues to cause on this family. FOUR FREAKIN' YEARS I HAVE BEEN DEALING WITH HER GARBAGE!!

[Taneli]

Ah... there are times like this when I am grateful for my uneventfull life... :)

And no, I don't think you are being unreasonable, if they really want to visit your girls they should come over. :)

[Sable]

They'd have to come visit the children at my house. There is no way in Hades I'd allow my precious children to go to their house with that idiot around--she seems to be very toxic and your IL's aren't helping her by helping her. She's a grown woman--she needs to seek help and they need to let her go. It's a shame really.

I feel bad for her little girl. She probably would have a better chance with her father. The way things are going with her mother right now, she hasn't a chance at all. :(

They'd have to come visit at my place, sans the SIL.

[DiznieB]

I agree Sable!!

My husband called his dad last night and they go into a huge arguement. My husband recorded the conversation through our answering machine so I could listen to it afterward. WOW. He said things like "he doesn't understand" why we would not want our kids to come over there. What does his sister have to do with the kids? Why should his sister have to leave the house? Where will she go? My husband suggested that they come to our home and he says "we don't want to go to your home". My husband then asked "HOW BAD to you REALLY want to see them" and no response.

I am back to where I was a few months ago. I rather them not even be in our lifes at all. I told my husband, months ago we didn't have this stress and we're feeling it again and why? His answer, HIS SISTER. I said NO. Your sister has ALWAYS been around doing her crap. Months ago, January through May, we did not talk to them or ALLOW them in our lifes. We were stress free. Now we are TRYING to have a relationship between our children and them and the stress is back. I think we need to go back to not talking to them. They are all toxic. They obviously do not care about us or our children enough to try and understand how we feel or make any changes in the relationship. They are happy seeing our kids every couple of months and talking on the phone once a month. So be it.

I hate these people.

[Sable]

I swear, I remember that feeling like it was yesterday--thank goodness it was. Haven't seen my MIL or her whole evil gang (her side of the family) for 2 years now. :) Seriously, I'm not suggesting that you stop talking to them, but a little time off from them would NOT be a bad thing.