Caring for the Children...

[kingclick]

Do you consider these things "Caring for your children" therefore actual work?

Playing pat-a-cake?
Taking them to the zoo?
Swimming?
Picnics in the park?
Walking with other mommies?
Playing ball?
Going to movies?


Are they just as bad as....

Doing laundry?
Taking out the garbage?
Mowing the lawn?
Doing the dishes?
Dusting?
Weeding the garden?
Vaccuming?
Cleaning toilets?

[mom2burgess]

Playing pat-a-cake?
Taking them to the zoo?
Swimming?
Picnics in the park?
Walking with other mommies?
Playing ball?
Going to movies?

I think these things could fall under caring for your child, in the way that the experiences either teach them something or enrich thier lives. They are more enjoyable than
Doing laundry?
Taking out the garbage?
Mowing the lawn?
Doing the dishes?
Dusting?
Weeding the garden?
Vaccuming?
Cleaning toilets?
But still contribute to thier care, IMO

[HunnyBunnyBoo]

Do you consider these things "Caring for your children" therefore actual work?

Playing pat-a-cake? no
Taking them to the zoo? yes
Swimming? yes
Picnics in the park? yes
Walking with other mommies?what's that? and probably not
Playing ball? no
Going to movies? yes


Are they just as bad as....

Doing laundry? yes
Taking out the garbage? yes
Mowing the lawn? no
Doing the dishes? yes
Dusting? yes
Weeding the garden? yes
Vaccuming? yes
Cleaning toilets? no

Most of the things on the list you have of things to do with your child involve planning and organizing an expedition. They are more time consuming and more stressful to me than just about ANY of the household tasks you've mentioned.

For example, a picnic in the park is no picnic for ME--I have to pack enough food for all of us, extra for the little moochers who show up, drinks (and extra drinks because after running around, they get even more thirsty), sunscreen, hats, sunglasses, a ball or 2, and then we get to the park, I have to hump the stuff in and out, and be in the hot sun, 20 weeks pg, and play referee when necessary. Going to the zoo involves almost as much preparation along with the added stress of the crowds and having to watch both boys simultaneously as they dart off in opposite directions. (Can you say "herding cats?" I knew you could!)

Swimming...well...let's just say that any water below bath temperature is NOT my friend. And my kids would LIVE in the pool if I let them.

So I *do* all of those things with my kids. But for ME (not them) is IS work, and in many ways more challenging than my dh's AIR-CONDITIONED job with a LUNCH HOUR. But it's important to me that I have the summers with my kids to play with them, no matter how painful it is for me sometimes.

[April]

Yeah, what HBB said.

For example, I take my kids to the lake. This is more fun for them than it is for me because I have to get bathing suits and towels washed, pack lunches, get everyone covered in sunscreen, drive 30 minutes to get there then spend the whole time chasing after the little one and making sure the older one hasn't drowned. If it were just me going to the lake all by myself, lounging in the sun and reading a paperback novel, it would be a relaxing time. But I have kids and that makes it work. It's fun for them but not necessarily for me.

The only difference in doing that and doing stuff like laundry or dishes is that the chores aren't fun for anyone, there is no enjoyment to be had there. Unless you're one of those sickos that actually like cleaning. ;)

[Epicurus]

I don't describe my activities with or without my kids as work. I do what needs to be done and am fine with that. Raising my kids takes time and effort but I don't describe it as work anymore then I do taking a shower. It just is what I do. Who cares really?

Collette

[mle30]

When we were little, during the week we played indoors in the basement or outside in the backyard. When we were too little to play out of sight, my mom used a playpen or babygate to keep us in one room. I remember during cleaning days, Mom gave us each rags, and had us in the room "helping" her dust - which was really the two of us rubbing our rags all over everything in the room.

By age 4, Mom let us kids play on our own in the basement finger-painting, or had us read her stories (we all learned to read, count to 100, know the days of the week, etc, at an early age), or we did one of the 1000 coloring books, 'brainteaser' packets, spirograph games, played with stuffed animals, dance to the radio (or Xanudu 8-track - now that's dating myself!)

Outside, we'd play in the backyard with the sprinkler, or making "mud tea", or have jumping, somersaulting, or a ton of other kinds of contests. Mom's given us picnics, but it was in the backyard. When I, the youngest, got to be 6, we were allowed to go out and play with the other neighborhood kids - my siblings had to look after widdle me.

I dunno... maybe I was deprived. My mom never took us swimming, or camping, or biking. We did that at camp, while Mom got some peace and quiet. And we got taken to the zoo or park sometimes over the weekend - while my mom got peace and quiet. And all of us were in nursery school starting at 3 years old - while my mom got peace and quiet.

It's funny, because my mom wasn't particularly domestic. We lived mainly on cold foods, such as cereal, yogurt, sour cream and fruit (yeech!) - though we usually had hot dinners. Mom did the once-a-week clean, but the standard was 'tidy' - maybe 'neat'. Far from the 'clean' standard I've seen in other homes (but then again - not filthy). Mom loathed all things domestic with a passion, and as soon as she could afford it, she SOOO hired a cleaning lady to come in once a week.

Yet, for all that - her hatred of domestic chores, her way of making sure my siblings and I could entertain ourselves AND learn AND be within earshot BUT keep hassle to a minimum (as I presume the idea of doing more would make her exhausted) - she'd NEVER, EVER think of asking the 'breadwinner' of sharing in the cooking and cleaning. Instead, like I said, she streamlined her own process so that not everything was a project of driving, sunscreen, toys, extra drinks, etc.

We were kids - we were happy as clams dunking leaves in mud and calling them "chocolate-covered maples" for doG's sake! We were in hog heaven digging in the dirt piles rooted up from construction. And my mom loved it - one full day's amusement, and all it 'cost' was the load of wash to clean our dirty clothes.

might be a little rambly there - just saying that entertaining and educating and raising kids doesn't have to involve the most ornate plans, and take all day to do.

[Epicurus]

mle30,
I totally agree. That is exactly why I laugh when people praise me for homeschooling my kids and say they could never manage it all. It is not that hard to manage really. You just integrate everything into your daily routine.
The kids entertain themselves much of the time and we do field trips and all sorts of activities but they have evolved over time. It wasn't just one day we had band and piano and science class and park day and field trips etc. Over YEARS we have built up our base of activities and it is just part of daily life.
Some people go off to school each day and some do other things each day. It is not that hard if you just accept it and go with the flow. I think it becomes really hard when you have control issues and feel you must always be in control. With kids you need to have flexibility. They spill things, get sick etc. and plans change. Just relax and enjoy it is what I always say. The house doesn't't have to look perfect and I don't look like June Cleaver:)
The only thing that you said that doesn't sit with me is needing breaks and camp. First of all kids get molested at camp and I am not comfortable with the idea at all. My son did go one year for 5 days and he survived but he ended up bunked with a huge bully who tormented him the entire time. We could have lived without that experience.
Anyway, I don't need any more breaks than what occur naturally. I get breaks all the time when the kids are otherwise occupied or when I go to Yoga etc.

Collette

[Peanut]

I consider the first list of things a part of caring for my children, as opposed to the chores listed later. The first things are the sorts of things I do to ENRICH my children's lives. The second list are things that just need to be done. However, depending on the situation, sometimes the first list-type things (day at the zoo sorts, NOT patty-cake) can be more agonizing than a day full of the chores in the second list! LOLOLOL!

[Melinda-Q]

Do you consider these things "Caring for your children" therefore actual work?

Playing pat-a-cake?

Do people actually even play pat-a-cake with a child other than an infant learning to clap? To me, this is kind of one of those things that strikes me as "dumbed down" and no..I wouldn't consider it work. HOWEVER, I do consider teaching them music, about rhythm and rhythmic patterns and eventually music theory "caring for my children" and actual work. It isn't easy to instill an appreciation for Tchaikovsky in a three year old. :thanku:
Taking them to the zoo?

Well, if all mom is doing is walking alongside them at the zoo, then no, it isn't work. HOWEVER if mom is helping them learn to identify all the animals and their natural habitats and teaching them to clasify animals, then yes, it is definitely part of "caring for" them and "work" for the mom (or dad).

Swimming?

Well, again, is this mom sitting by the pool or lake as spectator or is this mom in the water, interacting with the children, teaching them to swim, teaching them strokes? The first case is just "watching" children, the second is providing physical education. Most PE educators consider that their work, so if mom and dad is doing it--it is also work.

Picnics in the park?

If you have ever really planned and prepared a nice picnic in the park, it's work. For us it involves menu planning, talking about nutrition, baking, etc. The children learn and at the end we reap the benefits of a nice day at the park. It still involves work.

Walking with other mommies?

I'll be honest here. I don't se this happening very much. The few moms I do see doing this are also the ones I see neglecting their children in some other ways, or the ones who are always losing their kids at the park, etc. One particular mom comes to mind. No, I don't see this as work, but I also don't see this as common.

Playing ball?

Definitely work. I hate to play ball! LOL To do so requires more of me than cleaning my entire house would.

Going to movies?

Definitely a part of caring for children. I would expect that the parent is also discussing the movie with the child(ren). For us, we like to read a book then watch the movie and spend time comparing and contrasting the two. Sometimes when there is more than one version of a book (for example the actual Little Women and the abridged) we will compare them before viewing the movie.

Are they just as bad as....

Doing laundry?

I don't really see this as "bad". I don't do the laundry here anyway, dad does. However I have always enjoyed things like organizing closets and hanging clothes up, so I don't see this as very taxing work.

Taking out the garbage?

Hubby does this here also. However I don't view this as "work". It is very hard to take out a bag full of garbage and put it in the garbage bin for the garbage man. It's much harder getting three children into snowsuits and into carseats on a winter day.

Mowing the lawn?

Hubby does this. He finds it relaxing and enjoyable. I woulnd't know. I've never mowed a lawn.

Doing the dishes?

To me, this is not really work. You eat, scrape your plates, put in dishwasher. No big deal. Later you put them away. Not as taxing as teaching a child to clasify animals.

Dusting?

On the occasions that I have to do this, I enjoy it. I like dusting off and rearranginf our belongings and keeping our house looks nice. It's work, but nothing major.

Weeding the garden?

Doesn't this belong on the above list? Kids help weed the gardens and they love it. I don't see this as work either. More something you do while you are outside having fun.

Vaccuming?

I do this about 3 times a day. Completely anal about our floors. It's work, but again, nothing major.

Cleaning toilets?

Cleaning toilets is no fun at all. BUT it needs to be done. It also does not require as much of me mentally or physically as half the things I do with my children

In summary, there are things on both lists that can be called work. However the way we do things, very actively involved, I would be far more tired at the end of the day doing 4 or 5 things on the first list, than the second. I also view the things in the first list as having higher priority.