Epicurus
06-09-2004, 03:34 PM
I wasn't sure where to put this. I could go under reproduction or religion I suppose.
Anyway, a friend of mine e-mailed me for a midwife reference for a friend of hers who lives near me. This woman has had children at home before but moved and doesn't know the midwives around here. I sent her a name of the best midwife I know. The woman then wanted to know if this midwife is Christian. I asked my friend to tell her to call her and ask all her questions. It is not for me to answer.
Well then this woman wants to know if *I* am Christian as if I need to be Christian in order to tell her a midwives phone number? She then questions my character as a non Christian (which she assumed since no one jumped foreword and said I was) and decided that I like the midwife I referred because she is not Christian (another assumption on her part) and that I dislike another midwife I did not recommend because she is Christian.
I did not recommend the other midwife because I have heard very bad stories of her handling emergencies poorly and doing many unnecessary interventions causing complications. I recommended a midwife how I know personally and have personally witnessed handle many emergencies calmly, coolly and efficiently. She is a also a wonderful person and extremely caring. She was the assisting midwife at my own birth.
Then the woman wants to know if the midwife is a lesbian??? She still hasn't even called her to ask her own questions and is very offended I won't answer her questions. I just don't feel it is my place to tell her personal information about this midwife. She can ask herself and the midwife will be happy to share with her any reasonable background information. Many peopel ask her the Christian question and she is happy to discuss it fully.
OK, that's it in a nutshell. The woman is now mad and not talking to my friend who defended my character and won't (apparently) call this midwife because she assumes she is not Christian. She is considering going with the Christian midwife who has a poor track record. What do you all think of this?
IMO when you ask for a reference and are given one by someone you don't know it is then your job to follow up and meet the personal and decide for yourself if they are the midwife for you. I thought it was inappropriate for her to attempt gossip with me and then judge me because I wouldn't comply. It is annoying to say the least. I sent along two other midwife names whom I know nothing about.
Is a Christian Midwife (or any other service you want to put in there) so important that you wouldn't even consider others? She has the choice of 4 midwives that I am aware of and one is ruled out for incompetence already in my book. It is not like she has endless options.
Am I in the wrong for not wanting to discuss the personal life of this midwife with a stranger?
Collette
Anyway, a friend of mine e-mailed me for a midwife reference for a friend of hers who lives near me. This woman has had children at home before but moved and doesn't know the midwives around here. I sent her a name of the best midwife I know. The woman then wanted to know if this midwife is Christian. I asked my friend to tell her to call her and ask all her questions. It is not for me to answer.
Well then this woman wants to know if *I* am Christian as if I need to be Christian in order to tell her a midwives phone number? She then questions my character as a non Christian (which she assumed since no one jumped foreword and said I was) and decided that I like the midwife I referred because she is not Christian (another assumption on her part) and that I dislike another midwife I did not recommend because she is Christian.
I did not recommend the other midwife because I have heard very bad stories of her handling emergencies poorly and doing many unnecessary interventions causing complications. I recommended a midwife how I know personally and have personally witnessed handle many emergencies calmly, coolly and efficiently. She is a also a wonderful person and extremely caring. She was the assisting midwife at my own birth.
Then the woman wants to know if the midwife is a lesbian??? She still hasn't even called her to ask her own questions and is very offended I won't answer her questions. I just don't feel it is my place to tell her personal information about this midwife. She can ask herself and the midwife will be happy to share with her any reasonable background information. Many peopel ask her the Christian question and she is happy to discuss it fully.
OK, that's it in a nutshell. The woman is now mad and not talking to my friend who defended my character and won't (apparently) call this midwife because she assumes she is not Christian. She is considering going with the Christian midwife who has a poor track record. What do you all think of this?
IMO when you ask for a reference and are given one by someone you don't know it is then your job to follow up and meet the personal and decide for yourself if they are the midwife for you. I thought it was inappropriate for her to attempt gossip with me and then judge me because I wouldn't comply. It is annoying to say the least. I sent along two other midwife names whom I know nothing about.
Is a Christian Midwife (or any other service you want to put in there) so important that you wouldn't even consider others? She has the choice of 4 midwives that I am aware of and one is ruled out for incompetence already in my book. It is not like she has endless options.
Am I in the wrong for not wanting to discuss the personal life of this midwife with a stranger?
Collette