SFAB/WWYD PG Ladie at Bar asking for a drink

[Quamie]

A couple walks in, and the woman is heavily pregnant. The man orders a beer and she asks for a glass of wine. The bartender, startled, thinks a moment and says she will have to check with the management, unsure as to whether she is allowed to serve a pregnant woman. The couple takes a seat. Management is consulted and decides that they cannot legally deny the woman her wine. Our two bartenders were unsettled by this. I suggested they offer a "ladies' special" of a wine spritzer; half a glass of wine topped with tonic and cranberry juice. They did so, but the couple declined and left.

What would you do in the bartender's place?

[kingclick]

I would have given them the glass of wine. But I probably wouldn't have given them a second one.

[Shannie-Poo]

Although I dont believe its right to drink while preggo, You cant deny her that right. I dont know if I wouldve morally been able to serve her. I might have had another person do it for me.

[Clio]

If there's no law against it, she can do whatever she pleases and it's absolutley no concern of mine.
People are way too quick these days to make something that does not concern them their business.

but the couple declined and left

And rightly so.

[Loveone]

I would have served it to her. When I was pregnant with my daughter my OB told me I could drink a glass of wine a day and it wouldn't hurt my baby(although I never drank any).

[Madelyn]

I would have served it. I have read cases where pg women have sued bars claiming discrimination b/c they were refused service.

I admit that I would probably have given her a disgusted "OMG what are doing?" stare as she drank. It is her right to drink, and it is my right to have an honest reaction to it. For those that say it is none of my business, well, you might be right. That's why I would serve her and wouldn't lecture her. But if she wants to do something like that in public, she should be prepared for the consequences, stares, disapproving looks, etc.

The March of Dimes website offers the following advise to drinking mothers:

"Drinking alcohol while you are pregnant can cause your baby to be born with physical and mental birth defects called Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS). FAS is the leading preventable cause of mental retardation.

No one knows exactly how much alcohol a woman has to drink to cause FAS in her baby (and that level may be different between women). So experts agree that the best thing to do is not to drink alcohol at all while you are pregnant—that includes beer, wine, wine coolers and liquor.
mount of alcohol has been proven safe during pregnancy, regardless of what you doctors tell you.

Even if nothing would ever come of it, why risk it? Is the taste of one glass of wine or a beer worth any risk whatsoever? Besides, if you can't lay off alcohol for a mere 9 months when you have such a good reason, a human life forming inside you, man, that suggests a serious problem.

[mom2burgess]

I would have probably served it to her. I wouldnt' agree with it, myself, but many dr.s say a glass of wine won't hurt your baby while pregnant.

[Jory]

If I were the bar tender, I would do my job and serve her. In my mind I would be throttling her though. I have known women who have drank moderately to almost heavily in their pregnancy and had perfect babies. I have also heard of the woman who had only a couple of drinks and had a FAS baby. Bottom line, Like Madelyn said, WHY risk it?

Still, as a bartender, it wouldn't be my place to play morality police on her.

[ehartsay]

If there's no law against it, she can do whatever she pleases and it's absolutley no concern of mine.
People are way too quick these days to make something that does not concern them their business.

Exactly.

For all anybody knows, maybe she doesn't really even want to have this baby and is actively trying to induce miscarriage...


A friend of mine, was buying large amnts of Vitamin C (as in the 10s of bottles) at a drugstore, and a nosy old lady asked her (sort of jokingly) why she needed so much.

My friend then said (probably ill advised to admit it) that she just found out she was pregnant (as in less than 2-3 weeks, I guess).
Immediately every busybody old wife in earshot started lecturing her on how taking a lot of vitamin C could cause miscarriages.
So then she got mad and loudly told them all the truth, which is to say that as she couldn't afford the morning-after pill or an abortion, that was EXACTLY what she was trying to achieve.

[MMP]

What if she came in and ordered a salad with the cheese you arent suppose to eat when preggo? Blue cheese????

Besides, what if her OB had told her to go out have a relaxing dinner, a glass of wine, a nice walk, some fantastic sex and he would see her in a couple of days at the hospital? If she is that preggo, they might be trying to rush things along without resorting to drugs.

[Humdinger]

Doesn't most bars have the sign that says "we reserve the right to refuse service to anyone"?

Maybe I'm a judgmental bitch but, I woudln't have served her. It goes right along with not serving someone I know has had to much to drink either.

There is no law that says she can't drink while prego and it is her choice if she wants to but I could not in all good faith serve her. I think if you choose to drink while prego then that is your choice but it is also my choice not to serve you.

I'm in the camp of yeah, MAYBE on drink woudln't affect the baby, but why the hell would you risk it? If an ob of mine ever were to tell me I could drink while prego I would have gotten a different ob. There are other ways to relax without endangering my baby.