Judging others

[GracieMae]

I realize we all make snap judgements at times. If I see a person who is physically dirty I wonder why they don't take a bath. If I see an obnoxious drunk I avoid them and think how obnoxious they are being.

Do you judge people based on their looks?

[kingclick]

Yep! It's human nature for us to judge on appearance. It's how we are designed.

[Quamie]

I do and it is not uncommen for ANYONE to do the same.

[GracieMae]

Just because it not uncommon does it make it right?

[Quamie]

Yes and no I have every right to have an opinion even if I keep it to myself. But sometime some folks JUST really dont know they are not doing something right. Clothing and even life issues sometimes have to be brought to a persons attention. It dosent have to be harsh to be said.

[bRATmom]

I do... its not something I am proud of.... something I need to overcome within myself... and wait till I get to know the person. Even then, I should not judge,,, why should I think my standards are the ones to live by for all. Thats unfair to everyone.

but I will also say, that by saying I am accepting of all, makes me think that I am a snob or something... like I am better then everyone else... I shouldnt judge, I should be accepting... but I am certainly not better then anyone else.... Im just me

[GracieMae]

But I doubt you would approach a stranger and say "you are too fat to wear that". KWIM?

[Quamie]

Um no I would not approach a stranger but I sure would tell a friend or family member, " Go put something else on, or You need to stop wearing that it is WAY to small"

[Quamie]

And if every other family member or friend did that then those strangers would not have walked out the house looken the way they did.

[kingclick]

I'm gonna go out on a limb and not only say it's right, but say sometimes it's neccessary.

I am walking down a street and a guy looking like a gang banger is walking toward me. I'm gonna judge him on his appearance and cross the street or avoid an encounter with him.

I am at the county fair and I see an older woman. I am going to be more careful around her because I know that older people are more frail and are easily knocked over.

[GracieMae]

I'm gonna go out on a limb and not only say it's right, but say sometimes it's neccessary.

I am walking down a street and a guy looking like a gang banger is walking toward me. I'm gonna judge him on his appearance and cross the street or avoid an encounter with him.

I am at the county fair and I see an older woman. I am going to be more careful around her because I know that older people are more frail and are easily knocked over.

And to me that makes sense.

What I have a problem with it the line of thinking all people who look like gang bangers are gang bangers therefore they should all be avoided.

If someone who looks like a gang banger sits down next to me am I going to move just because I assume he/she maigh possibly be a gang banger eventhough they are doing nothing wrong by sitting next to me.

[kingclick]

Are you gonna move? If you want to....sure. If you don't, don't.

[Mabel]

Everyone makes snap judgements. But some cross the line into *judgemental*. Looking at someone that makes you feel suspicious and acting cautiously is okay - looking at a chubby person and deciding they are inappropriate because you don't like their outfit is not ;)

[April]

I've judged other people based on their looks and I've been judged based on mine. It's not always right, but it is human nature and, as KL said, sometimes even necessary.

[mle30]

Making calculated risks is appropriate. If you don't want to get in an elevator with a strange man because he gives you a vibe like he's serial killer (typically a white male, btw), you're not DENOUNCING him as a killer because you choose not to get into a small, soundproof room with him.

Thoughts, even prejudicial thoughts, I don't care about. And non-libelous, non-EEOC-thwarting actions I don't so much care about. One guy made a big deal about, even though we took turns bringing in munchies at work, *I* should do it more because I'm Jewish. Whatever. If my pity for his weak mind means I'm deprived (by choice) of his company, or (by chance) disabused of the notion that he was an ok guy... well, that's fine by me.

If it's not a big-time action, then I take it as the price of admission for there being a free country: people are free to be jerks.

At the same time, I think it's a little too PC to say that kinds of 'judgement calls' are the same in degree and denouncement than full-out prejudicial judgeMENTS.

Get what I mean in the difference?

[Jory]

I agree with most of what has been said here. Yes, I judge people initially by the way they look, but I reserve the right to change my mind about them once I make the effort to get to know them.

People also judge based on the experiences they have. I don't feel uncomfortable around "gangbangers" or look alikes. I grew up in a rough neighborhood so I know that most of them are just everyday people (like the song).

A lot of people think negatively about people who dress in Gothic style, or the skater kids etc. Usually these people are very creative, caring, peaceful and ironically, the least likely to be drug users.

[Slabobbin]

I do but mostly it is just with dirty, nasty people. I don't live in an area that has very many (if any) homeless people so it isn't like these people don't have access to water to wash off wtih. I don't make snap judgements because their clothing is out of style but if someone is just plain old NASTY and greasy looking, I do make a snap judgement. Even people who can't afford nice things can keep the things they do have clean.

[SouthernJen]

Even though, IMO, it's wrong to judge someone based on their looks, I'm guilty of it myself. Even though I won't tell the person what I think, I do feel badly if I get to know the person and realize my assumptions of them were totally wrong.