40 year old man-16 year old girl.

[Michele]

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=3305652&page=1
The Hagers are trying to figure out how life went off track for their teenage daughter, Windy.

They envisioned that life for the good student and promising athlete would be filled with dreams of the prom and college, but that all changed this week when Windy, 16, married her high school track coach.

"She was a dream kid," said her mother, Betty Hager. "We'd never have to worry about Windy trying to get by with something."

At South Brunswick High School in North Carolina, Windy's greatest passion was track and field.

"She just always was outside, always running, and her name's Windy — I guess she was predestined to do love to do that," Betty said.

But that passion led her down a troubling path.

Special Attention From Coach
During Windy's freshman year, her 38-year-old track coach, Brenton Wuchae, began taking a more active interest in her, offering to give the 14-year-old rides home from practice.

"He just seemed like a genuine guy, like he was there for the kids," said Windy's father, Dennis Hager.

But the Hagers eventually grew uneasy. Their phone bills showed text messages between Wuchae and Windy as late as 2 a.m.

They also discovered worrying e-mails. In one, Windy wrote to a friend, "I don't care to look at anyone other than him. He is the apple of my eye, I've never felt this way for someone, but I just don't want to lose him because of my parents' power trips."

The Hagers confronted Wuchae.

"He assured me there was nothing like that going on, [and that] they were just friends. His intentions were purely appropriate," Dennis said.

Not satisfied with that answer, the Hagers turned to the school district, which spoke to the coach.

The principal of the high school wrote to the Hagers, "I have seen nothing but a cooperative attitude from the teacher, and to the best of my knowledge, he has not had any contact with Windy since then."

"School officials can't be responsible for what happens the other hours of the day, and I would think the relationship developed much more outside of school," said Brian Shaw, an attorney for the school district.

The Hagers contacted police; they even tried to get a restraining order.

"We've tried everybody. We've been to the law. We've been to the school board," Betty said. "Our family has come and tried to talk to her. We've had people on the phone with her for hours — family, friends. We've been to our pastor asking for guidance. We've been to his pastor."

Meanwhile, the Hagers say Windy withdrew, refusing to speak to them until she asked them to sign a consent form so that she and her coach — a man more than twice her age — could get married.

Although anguished, her weary parents gave in.

"Signing those consent forms was the hardest thing I did in my whole life, but we had to move on, it was going to kill us all," Dennis said.

Monday, Windy and Wuchae married, and he resigned from the school.

Thoughts? What could a 40 year old and a 16 year old possibly have in common? Would you consider him a pedophile? Did her parents do the right thing? Did the police and the school let this girl and her parents down?

[Terrell]

Thoughts? What could a 40 year old and a 16 year old possibly have in common? Would you consider him a pedophile? Did her parents do the right thing? Did the police and the school let this girl and her parents down?

I don't think that they could have much if anything in common. I don't consider him a pedophile. (since a pedophile is attracted to pre-pubescent children) and the age of consent (http://www.coolnurse.com/consent.htm) for sex is 16 in NC, an ephebophile perhaps. Unless that police have evidence that the 2 are having sex, prior to her turning 16 there's not much they can do. I don't think her parents should have given in and signed the consent forms though.

As to the school, that depends on the details, vs what they knew.

[RiverDad]

Thoughts? What could a 40 year old and a 16 year old possibly have in common?

Plenty.

Would you consider him a pedophile?

No.

Did her parents do the right thing?

What options did they have left? They could have refused to consent and the likely outcome of that would have been that the fire in her belly would only grow stronger until she turned 18 and then she would have married the man, largely to spite her parents, would have a frosty relationship with her parents, and might even stay married to the man for a longer period than she desires simply to not give her parents the satisfaction of being right.

Or she could have run away. Or she could have forgotten him in time. How likely do you think that this last option was?

Did the police and the school let this girl and her parents down?

No. If the two of them wanted to be together no one could really stop them. The man has already shown that he's willing to quit his job in order to be with her.

[eva]

I think he's a probably a horny, dirty, old man. I would not have signed the consent. I would have insisted my daughter continue her education so that she would get some independence and a clue. And I would wonder why she was looking so badly for a father figure.

[Clio]

What could they possibly have in common?? I know girls mature faster than boys but not that fast.

[eva]

I'm pretty sure what they have in common is that she wants to be worshiped and he wants to worship her. He completes her. :P

[holychicken]

Thoughts? What could a 40 year old and a 16 year old possibly have in common?
Well, obviously, they are both into track. So that is something they almost definitely have in common.

Would you consider him a pedophile?
I don't see any reason why he would be.

Did her parents do the right thing? Did the police and the school let this girl and her parents down?
I am not close enough to the situation to make an adequate judgement. On the surface, it does smell quite fishy to me, however, the article never mentions ANY wrongdoing. So whom am I to say it is wrong? Out of the ordinary? Most certianly, but that does not mean it is necessarily wrong.

[abcNKH]

Really creeps me out - my own DD is going into HS this year and I would be quite concerned if a teacher/coach took that much interest in her.

I don't think I would have signed the consent papers, though. It isn't the fact that he is 40, but the fact that she is 16 - way to young to commit to a life-long relationship, and I would have told her exactly that. If this 40 year old had a lick of common sense, he would have agreed and also told her they needed to wait about 10 years for that...

[holychicken]

It isn't the fact that he is 40, but the fact that she is 16 - way to young to commit to a life-long relationship, and I would have told her exactly that. If this 40 year old had a lick of common sense, he would have agreed and also told her they needed to wait about 10 years for that...
This is a definitely a good point. This sways me towards not signing the papers.

[Terrell]

I'm pretty sure what they have in common is that she wants to be worshiped and he wants to worship her. He completes her. :P

You may be on to something there, Eva.

[ArcticPhoenix]

Thoughts? Yuck.

What could a 40 year old and a 16 year old possibly have in common? They're both only about 15 years away from wearing diapers. Granted, in opposite directions, but still.... Would you consider him a pedophile? No, but I'd still consider him to be sick. Did her parents do the right thing? No. If they really felt it was wrong for them to be together, they wouldn't have given in and signed a consent form for them to get married. Did the police and the school let this girl and her parents down? I don't know that I can answer this one... I think they probably did everything they thought they could.

Just one last word on this. Yuck. The fucker's old enough to be her Dad... hell it wouldn't have surprised me to have read that her dad and this coach went to school together! Give me a break, people.... if a 40 year old guy was hanging off of my 16 year old, I wouldn't be signing any consent form for them to get married, but the guy would be signing his death certificate, that's for sure.

[holychicken]

Give me a break, people.... if a 40 year old guy was hanging off of my 16 year old, I wouldn't be signing any consent form for them to get married, but the guy would be signing his death certificate, that's for sure.
Ah yes, violence over sex. Certainly the better of the two.

[Clio]

I'm pretty sure what they have in common is that she wants to be worshiped and he wants to worship her. He completes her. :P

:howling:

[Book Wizard]

:throwup:

[ByoQemFizzix]

I'd just like to point out that my dad was 17 when he met my mum, who was over twice as old as him with 6 kids... Strange how when it's that way around there is less of a uproar about the relationship than when the genders are reversed. If females mature quicker than males then the reaction should be the opposite of what it usually is...

As for the particulars of this case I'm not one to judge.

As for the parents signing the consent papers - there comes a time in every parents life when they have to let their chlldren grow up and make their own mistakes. It's painful, I know, but it' something you just have to do. You just have to hope (and pray) that those mistakes aren't too costly, or (even better) that they don't turn out to be mistakes at all.

Over here in the UK you can leave school at age 16. You can get a job at age 16. You can have sex with someone else (of either gender) at age 16. You can pay tax at age 16 (if you have a job). You can leave home at age 16. You can get married at age 16 (with parental consent). In most things (not all), at age 16, you care considered an adult. You can have children at age 16.

It's funny that, really, when you come to think of it. At age 16... you can leave home, go out and work for a living, shack up with a 60 year old, have sex with him and have his baby... all quite legally...

But you'd still need to ask your parents if you can marry him at that time...

[eva]

I'd just like to point out that my dad was 17 when he met my mum, who was over twice as old as him with 6 kids... Strange how when it's that way around there is less of a uproar about the relationship than when the genders are reversed.

I would be uproaring just as much if it were my son as if it were my daughter.

[Raven]

Thoughts? What could a 40 year old and a 16 year old possibly have in common? Would you consider him a pedophile? Did her parents do the right thing? Did the police and the school let this girl and her parents down?

Clearly, they are both athletes, so there is that in common. I know that Eva was joking when she said: I'm pretty sure what they have in common is that she wants to be worshiped and he wants to worship her. He completes her but it is probably quite accurate in BOTH directions. The girl likely worships the man, too. He was her coach, an older man paying attention to her... all sorts of ingredients for her to set up a hero-worship alter, too. Beyond that, it is hard to tell based on the article, but they will run into a lot of disconcerting times - like when he references something she knows nothing about because she wasn't even alive yet - plus she has a lot of growing and maturing left to do.

He is not a pedophile

I wouldn't say the parents did the *right* thing, but prior to that they were only driving her away from them. In their shoes, I would have likely given my consent to let them be engaged with the understanding that I would back off on my efforts to break them up - let her make her own decisions about the relationship - in exchange for them waiting until she was 18

I don't think anyone let this girl down. No one can control who she falls in love with. I do have to question why the man didn't want to wait until she was 18, though.

[justGina]

All I have to say is: gross.

If a dirty old geezer comes near my daughter, he's gonna end up with his balls for a necklace.

[ArcticPhoenix]

Ah yes, violence over sex. Certainly the better of the two.


HC, I sense sarcasm in your writing. Perhaps you could elaborate on this.

[eva]

10 bucks says she's knocked up and that's why they are marrying and why Daddy gave in to it.

[ArcticPhoenix]

10 bucks says she's knocked up and that's why they are marrying and why Daddy gave in to it.

:lol: Eva wins teh internets!

[Diva]

Really creeps me out - my own DD is going into HS this year and I would be quite concerned if a teacher/coach took that much interest in her.

I don't think I would have signed the consent papers, though. It isn't the fact that he is 40, but the fact that she is 16 - way to young to commit to a life-long relationship, and I would have told her exactly that. If this 40 year old had a lick of common sense, he would have agreed and also told her they needed to wait about 10 years for that...

ITA. The fact that he wasn't willing to wait until she was more mature and had had a chance to grow up speaks volumes about his motivations and his feelings for her, IMO.

The other thing I'd like to point out that any hope of the parents doing the right thing went out the window when they named their child Windy. I mean for the love of CHRIST damn the child to a lifetime of fart jokes why don't ya!!! :P

[abcNKH]

10 bucks says she's knocked up and that's why they are marrying and why Daddy gave in to it.what a stupid reason to get married - I never understood why parents would insist on it for their daughters...

[holychicken]

HC, I sense sarcasm in your writing. Perhaps you could elaborate on this.
Sarcasm? Me? no way!

Sorry, I don't put murder over sex.

[CommonSensei]

He's a sick fuck and she's an immature child. I'd have packed my family up and moved in the middle of the night, to get her away from him. If, at age 18 (or 21, depending on the age of consent in that state), they still felt the same towards one another, well then, she's of age and can do as she wishes. If their 'love' was true, it would survive that 2 years.

Regardless, even if she wanted to be with him at that time, I'd still think he was sick fuck and she was an immature child.

[RiverDad]

Regardless, even if she wanted to be with him at that time, I'd still think he was sick fuck and she was an immature child.

Yeah right. If age difference = sick fuck, then you must be a testament to idiocy.

http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2005/03/23/renedion_wideweb__430x297.jpg

[CommonSensei]

Yeah right. If age difference = sick fuck, then you must be a testament to idiocy.

:lol: That pic proves my point........

[RiverDad]

:lol: That pic proves my point........

By all the accounts I've come across they seem to be a happier and more stable couple than these two who are very close in age:

http://www.foxnews.com/images/235745/0_61_britney_kevin.jpg

[ArcticPhoenix]

By all the accounts I've come across they seem to be a happier and more stable couple than these two who are very close in age:

http://www.foxnews.com/images/235745/0_61_britney_kevin.jpg
They aren't stable anymore. LOL

[Book Wizard]

My aunt married a man 15 years her senior. She was in her 20's at the time, however. They stayed married until his death in his late 80's.