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Epicurus
01-31-2004, 02:21 PM
Does this disturb anyone else?
Collette

No Greater Joy – Volume 1
©



Mistraining at Three Months



One of the young mothers in the church tells how she trained her three-month-old daughter to cry and whine to be picked up and held. Upon seeing her parents start to drift into another room, the baby cried out. The father responded, “Get little Suzy, she wants to be with us.” Mother picked up Suzy, and she spread her beautiful smile in delight. Well, that’s the real life story of how Suzy was trained to whine. She initiated an act, whining, to which the mother responded by picking her up. That was the first day of a lifelong habit.

She will refine her technique, employing more threats and spreading more misery. She will eventually fall on the floor, kicking her feet and screaming. The mother will be embarrassed in public, frustrated and angry at home, and will eventually have such contention and strife between her and her demanding daughter that she will write a letter to us wanting to know how to deal with an angry, undisciplined and unthankful teenager.

At less than three months old this little girl had discovered the power of emotional manipulation. For several days she refined her technique of control. She discovered how to use her mother’s guilt against her. She is so sweet, such a delight—as long as she is getting her way. Most parents will tolerate this behavior until the child is a two-year-old terror, and then they will decide that maybe she is about old enough to start getting a spanking for her fits. The first good spanking will produce the greatest tantrum yet, and the parents will decide that their child just has a double dose of that “sinful nature” they heard the preacher talking about. When the little girl is taken to the professionals, they will tag her with the Attention Deficit Disorder lie.

read the rest here
http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/ngjw1/045%20Mistraining%20at%20Three%20Months.htm

PsychoBunny
01-31-2004, 02:24 PM
Oh puh-lease! The child is 3 months old!!!!

Epicurus
01-31-2004, 02:31 PM
This is one of the less disturbing pages from this website. Have a look around.
Collette

GracieMae
01-31-2004, 02:38 PM
A 3 month old child is incapable of manipulating anyone. They have needs that must be fulfilled.

Why do people continue to fall for crap these publications? It's outrageous really!

PsychoBunny
01-31-2004, 03:07 PM
I know, Gracie. It just makes me sad for all those darling little babies that are needing their mommies and daddies, but thier parents believe in this shit!

Quamie
01-31-2004, 03:28 PM
Umm that was scary. That person needs some help and I hope she is NOT breeding!!!! :eek: :mad:

Michele
01-31-2004, 05:25 PM
PUTRID!

Humdinger
01-31-2004, 06:37 PM
That wrong on so many levels I feel sick to my stomache. *shaking head* How in the world ANYONE can think a 3 month old BABY can manipulate someone is beyond me. That child will grow up with a syndrome alright, the emotionally detached RAD syndrome just like another person caused her child to get that I had the PLEASURE(sarcasim) of seeing in action on the net.


PUKE

Lola
01-31-2004, 08:51 PM
That wrong on so many levels I feel sick to my stomache. *shaking head* How in the world ANYONE can think a 3 month old BABY can manipulate someone is beyond me. That child will grow up with a syndrome alright, the emotionally detached RAD syndrome just like another person caused her child to get that I had the PLEASURE(sarcasim) of seeing in action on the net.


PUKE

My cyber-twin said it best.

Sad.

Lunabella
02-01-2004, 12:53 AM
I don't even think I am going to look at the link...will break my heart I am sure.

If that is the case..my 7th month old has had be trained from day One.

Epicurus
02-01-2004, 09:05 AM
Well, it seems I am in good company here :D I have seen people defend this with all of their heart and soul.

Collette

Demona
02-01-2004, 03:56 PM
Okay, for the sake of playing devil's advocate:

Even animals are capable of recognising patterns in behaviour. If they act one way, and something good results from it and they act that way again and it happens again then they'll start to assume a causal relationship. Is not a 3 month old human capable of the level of comprehension of a domestic animal?

Manipulation is too strong - it implies a level of intent and comprehension of the effect on others which I do not believe is possible at that age. However that does not mean that they cannot act to effect an action and acquire habits which may not be ideal in the long run.

MooMur
02-01-2004, 07:27 PM
I know, Gracie. It just makes me sad for all those darling little babies that are needing their mommies and daddies, but thier parents believe in this shit!

Yup, I definately find that article disturbing. Honestly, I wish more parents would parent on instinct rather than believing crap like this.

Whan a baby cries, it means they need something. And the parent should respond to it. There is nothing manipulative about that. That is how they communicate their needs to their parents. It's not like the baby can talk to them.

SnowFairy
02-02-2004, 12:40 AM
That is totally pathetic, what is wrong with some ppl these days. OK, I could understand it a little more if the sweet lil thing was maybe 3 years, but not 3 months.

I know what it feels like. My freakin' IL's are annoying the crap outta me and telling dh and I how to raise Xavier. They say I am feeding him WAY too much (he's only 7 weeks) and that we need to train him when to eat and when to sleep, they say we arent doing our job because I feed him when he cries or come to him in the middle of the night when he is crying. Like I am going to leave him there and make him suffer? I DON'T THINK SO.

Epicurus
02-02-2004, 08:42 AM
Yes Demona, you can train a baby like a dog. You would miss the fact that the baby crying is his/her main communication tool to gets his/her needs met. They are not crying to manipulate but because they need soemthing from the parent. It might be something as simple as comfort but to assign malicious intent is what makes this especially disturbing.
Our infants depend on us for ALL of their needs. The idea that a parent can train their infant to not cry, eat on cue etc. has zero to do with what is good for the baby and everything to do with the parents needs IMO.

Collette

kingclick
02-02-2004, 12:02 PM
Three months? No.
Six Months? Yes. But only after you have assessed that the childs needs are met.

OnederWoman
02-02-2004, 04:59 PM
I do think you can mistrain a child. However, NOT a 3 month old, and NOT by being with them. I think of mistraining somewhere along the lines of allowing them to play with something that sooner or later, you will not allow them to play with. Easier to not let them play with it from the beginning. Or something like responding to whining (much older than 3 months of course) by allowing them to have their way and then when the behavior is cemented trying to retrain them.

I won't go to that link. It is incredibly extreme and incredibly closed minded! Similar to the Ezzo's, who think that if you don't raise your child exactly how they prescribe, you are a horrible selfish parent who will raise a horrible selfish child.