What's your interpretation?

[Melinda-Q]

If you were in contact with someone periodically and the following things occurred, how would you read it? Being real friendly and sometimes silly? Bordering on making advances? What do you think?

This person is ten years older than you are.

You are often told by this person how great it is to see you.

This person has gone from someone you barely knew to someone who greets you with a bear hug and kiss when you see them.

This person often comments on your blouse and jewelery.

This person has reached out and touched your jewelery when talking to you.

This person has reached down and touched your leg and commented on your jeans.

There is a lot of eye contact and smiling. This person will make faces at you across a crowded room.

This person refers to you at times, with terms of endearment.

This person emails you occasionally and signs off with love, or love ya.

This person went from barely knowing you a few months ago to referring to you as a "really good friend".

On one occasion you were leaving an event and this person bear hugged you. This person then said "Don't move" and when you questioned it they said "It's a breast thing, I can't explain it"

On one occasion you gave this person a polite cheek kiss upon greeting. You later realize you left lipstick on them. You reach out to wipe it off their face saying "I left lipstick on you" and the comment in return is "Cool. I can brag about it later."

Reason to be wary, or just really friendly?

[Diva]

This is how I am with most of my friends really, I'm a touchy-feely sort of a person so I don't see anything wrong with it, and as for the comments, if my friends said stuff like that I would take it as just playful joking. I don't think a few months is too short to go from barely knowing each other to referring to someone as a "really good friend". What is obvious though (assuming this is you and a person you know we're talking about) is that you don't really see this person as a close friend, or his (/her) level of attachment to you and ways of expressing it wouldn't bother you. At the end of the day, if it's uncomfortable for you, it IS inappropriate, even if it is all well-intentioned. If you're uncomfortable, then perhaps it's time to either create a bit of space between you, or if you do genuinely like this person and consider them a friend (which I doubt, like I said), talk to them, even if you just tell them you're not really a touchy-feely person and it's making you a bit uncomfortable even though you know they're just being friendly. If they do really care about you they'll respect your feelings and tone it down. Good luck!

[bRATmom]

your obviously not in your comfort zone... then, its crossed the line. Also, there are people, whom we will let into that comfort zone sooner, then others, and some, never get thier at all. Perhaps you can teach them through your body language. stiffening up, putting your hand out to stop the advances... keeping others close into that comfort zone so he cant advance in....

You have to gage when where and how to go about this... when do you see this person.. can you have your husband close at hand...nothing says more then you hanging off his arm lovingly.

good luck with your new "tag" sounds like your gonna need it.

[GracieMae]

your obviously not in your comfort zone... then, its crossed the line. Also, there are people, whom we will let into that comfort zone sooner, then others, and some, never get thier at all. Perhaps you can teach them through your body language. stiffening up, putting your hand out to stop the advances... keeping others close into that comfort zone so he cant advance in....

You have to gage when where and how to go about this... when do you see this person.. can you have your husband close at hand...nothing says more then you hanging off his arm lovingly.

good luck with your new "tag" sounds like your gonna need it.

I totally agree. If you are uncomfortable with this situation then I'd say it's best to avoid this person unless your husband is right at your side.


It's been my experience that situations that make us uncomfortable are best avoided and left alone.

[Scarlet]

could be totally innocent (I have a gay friend who was an older brother figure when I was younger that I can be girly around because it won't go anywhere, yk?) but it honestly sounds flirty, especially the holding the hug thing. Even if it isn't that is the sort of attention that can get one in over one's depth, yk? It can be addictive being paid that much attention to and therefore in my book is risky. Like I said, could be totally innocent, but it would raise warning flags for me... a male friend who is that close (physically) is not a good thing for my marriage.